I must warn you, this is really long but interesting, enjoy!
Yes I am seeking divorce already! We met about a year ago at a friend’s birthday party. We started off by exchanging numbers then became friends few weeks after we met. On a dinner date one cozy night, Joojo Bentil asked me to be his wife. I laughed very loud. Then I said to him, “But you barely know even my name, and I do not know if your name is what you say it is.”
“I see in you all the qualities of the perfect wife I have been praying to meet,” he said with conviction and an obviously lump in his throat. He swallowed hard. I smiled. Then he asked “will you be in a relationship with me, please”? This time, I didn’t think twice, I just said yes. You know why? I had waited too long for that. You have no idea the things I imagined when he refused to let go of my hands after the introduction.
Do you remember the things you did in the first two months of your relationship? Ours was awesome; we spent so much time together and a talked on phone the little time we were not together. There were days that we could go to the beach, sit and watch the sea waves till dawn. I just can’t describe how I felt during those days, we could sit for hours especially at night, without a word but it still felt so good. We could walk hand in hand for hours, talking about nothing in particular and time seemed to fly faster than the shuttle that took American astronauts to the moon.
One of those nights, I turned to face Jo, as I often call him, looked into his eyes and said “I wish we would be like this forever”. Jo looked at me and said he wished so too and we sealed it with a kiss. Before we knew, the sweet two months were over and the problems had begun.
Our first fight was about a phone call. Jo promised to call me back after someone had interrupted our discussion on phone one evening. I waited for some time but he did not call back. I tried to call and guess what? Jo’s phone was off. I don’t know why exactly I was worried but I was. What made it worse was that, Jo had told me his ex-girlfriend had not gotten over him and she sometimes bothered him with phone calls.
A lot of thoughts were running through my mind - was Jo with his ex? Was he speaking with her on another line? I know this wasn’t right but the thought of him being okay was the last thing on my mind. I laid on my bed thinking about the lie Jo was going to give me the next day.
My phone was the first thing I grabbed when I woke up the following day. I checked and saw that Joojo had called three times already and sent four messages. The first message read
“I’m sorry I couldn’t call back bae (slang for baby). My phone went off and there was dumsor, the lights came back this morning. Then the second one said “Please pick up and let me explain, hun (slang for honey).”
The third one that got my head spinning went like “Baby, you’ve become part of me now and I won’t do anything to hurt you…pls let’s not allow this to destroy the great union we have started…I love you and nothing can change that…please pick my call. Love, Jo”. Honestly I wasn’t angry with him and I asked myself why he thought I was angry with him but I forgot about it.
We rode on like nothing had happened but the problems kept coming, most of which had to do with Jo’s ex-girlfriend but we managed them. In one of our conversations one day, Jo asked me about how I wanted my wedding to be. The question got me smiling and rolling my eyes. Then I told him about the fairytale wedding I had always dreamt of and the honeymoon in Barbados. Yes! I wanted that because I had always believed that my wedding day was going to be the start of something extraordinary and we both deserved a wonderful beginning that would resound throughout our lives. Then Jo said, “Most women say they want very simple and classic weddings but they always have very grand weddings, hmm…but I’m in for anything that will make you happy my love. I just can’t wait to make you my wife” Those words got me smiling the rest of that day. I couldn’t wait to be his wife either! Jo was the best of all the guys I had dated. I had always thought my ‘first’ (the man I lost my virginity to) was my best until I met him. I could see my husband anytime I looked at him and I felt so safe whenever I was with him It got more serious after Jo took me home to meet his parents after church one Sunday. Jo told his parents that we were going to get married soon. I looked at him in surprise. Yes I did, because he hadn’t proposed. I had forgotten his words on the day we met. When we left his parents home, I asked him if he meant that and he said yes. Fact is words can’t express how I felt on that day. Jo came with his father and some two elders to declare his intentions to marry me. The date for the marriage ceremony was set when they came to do the ‘knocking’ or ‘kokooko’ a week after. Preparations for the D-day began immediately. Jo and I discussed the wedding almost every time we met or talked on phone. I told him I wanted an all white outdoor garden wedding and a dazzling wedding reception. We sat with a wedding planner and drew a plan, set an amount for the wedding and noted our expenditure. After a few consultations, everything was set.
Jo came back from work the following day with some good news. Joy FM wanted to open the 2015 beauty and Bridal Fair with our wedding ceremony. That was good news! Then I started imagining how that was going to be like, being on the cover of the Joy FM Beauty and Bridal Fair magazine. I couldn’t wait!
We hired vendors, bought the wedding gown and the groom’s attire. Photographers, caterers, and invitation cards were taken care of by Jo’s parents. Some things changed from then. The traditional wedding was slated for Friday at my father’s house and then my dream wedding ceremony was going to be held at the Accra International Conference Center and the dazzling reception, at a location in East Legon.
I checked the countdown calendar and we had just two weeks to go. Everything was almost set. The pre-wedding photo shoot was scheduled for the week before the wedding. That was done successfully at a location outside Accra.
The traditional marriage ceremony day arrived so fast. Unlike the wedding itself, the traditional marriage ceremony was to be done in a short and simple way. The whole house had been decorated. Some family members had come from our hometown to support and everyone seemed so excited. I had relaxed enough on the previous day so I woke up very early on that day. Did you just ask about bachelorette party? Well, I did not consider myself a bachelorette because I was in a committed relationship.
Phone calls and congratulatory messages started coming in as early as 4am, that day was about Jo and me, we were the topic for discussion in both families. I started feeling like a star already. The ceremony was attended by close family members and few close friends. It was a very brief ceremony. Both families made merry after the rites were performed. We took some pictures and went to rest for the next day. I thought Jo had gone to do same because he left earlier and his phone was off. “He wants me to miss him ahead of tomorrow” was what I thought so I stopped calling after trying a few times.
That night, I had a wonderful dream. And guess which part of the wedding I dreamt about? The part where Jo was looking straight into my eyes and saying these words “Until today, the day that I told you I loved you, the day that I knew I was going to marry you, that was the best day of my life, I vow to protect you, care for you and love you forever.”
Touching! I woke up with tears in my eyes and saw my mum sitting next to me on my bed. She smiled, said good morning and handed over a little box to me. It contained a beaded necklace. I smiled back, thanked and hugged her. I know mummy is going to miss me styling her hair, doing her make-up and taking photographs of her before she stepped out every day but she was happy for me.
What I was worried about was time. Thankfully, the make-up artist and hair stylists arrived very early. I peeped through my window and there it was. The 2012 Bentley Continental GT from EuroStar Limousines was parked in front of the house. After some hours, we were set to go. Jo had phoned earlier to say they were leaving the house. I could see the crowed that had gathered in front of the Conference Center as the car entered the place.
“So in the next two or so hours, many things were going to change”- this thought kept running through my mind. Everybody was waiting to see the bride-friends, family and all. The thousand cameras and eyes that were ready to see me got me feeling nervous. And omg…It felt so great! It was my day! The ‘ayefro-oo-oo- dondo-oo’ screams from the crowed and the- I’m- proud -of- you- smile on my parents’ faces added to the great feeling. I hadn’t felt like that in my whole life.
The procession was smooth. Before I knew it, I was facing Jo in front of a congregation at the Accra International Conference Center. The exchange of vows and rings did not take so much time. The opening of the Joy FM Beauty and Bridal Fair was done after the marriage ceremony. Holding hands, Jo and I visited the stands and shops at the fair and took photographs with almost everyone who came. I smiled throughout the period that my cheeks hurt after the recession.
My dream had come true. It was time to go home and change for the reception. Jo and I had practiced some dance moves for the occasion. We did not spend much time at the reception. Something else was calling. Hellooo! I know what you are thinking and yes you’re right. Lol
We wanted to open our new home with it but, at the same time we wanted to do it in Barbados when we have arrived and relaxed. Hmm…confusion! Jo put me in the mood when he carried me into the car. “I will be back shortly, my lobe”. He said, kissed me and run off. I picked up his phone to take a selfie and guess what I saw?
A picture of Jo and his ex-girlfriend kissing was his screen saver! I blinked and looked at it again and said nothing. This got me to go through his pictures. The screen saver was just a tip of it. I saw naked pictures of Jo and ex-girlfriend in bed. Just like you are thinking now, I thought they were old pictures but no, they weren’t! I checked the details and they were taken the night before, the eve of our wedding!
Jo came back and met me crying in the car. He asked what the problem was but I was speechless. I didn’t know what to ask, why I should ask and what I wanted to hear. I was so confused! I threw his phone, got out of the car and started running. I didn’t know where I was going, I was just going and he followed with screams “hear me out, please”.
I don’t know how I ended up in bed but I woke up in my father’s house. And that was how my one-day honour as the proud bride at the 2015 Joy FM Beauty and Bridal Fair came to an end. It was all a show but I enjoyed every bit of it.
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